It is in loving, not in being loved,
The heart is blessed;
It is in giving, not in seeking gifts,
We find our quest.
Whatever be thy longing or thy need,
That do thou give.
So shalt thy soul be fed, and thou, indeed,
Shalt truly live.
– “In Giving” by M.E. Russell
It’s almost that time again, folks: Valentine’s Day. Take one glance inside your local shopping center, and you’ll be bombarded by heart-shaped chocolate boxes, “be my valentine” balloons, “I love you” teddy bears, sentimental floral arrangements…and everything in various shades of red and pink. The moment Santa Claus moved out of the way, Cupid jumped on the scene. Ever since the wee hours of December 26, marketing teams across the country have been bound and determined to remind us all that we’re entering into the “season of love”. I suppose it’s about time I jump on the bandwagon.
In this month’s article, Right Back Atcha, we are going to consider an oft underrated factor of love: generosity. As M.E. Russell pointed out in our opening poem, life should be more about loving than being loved and more about giving than being given to. Jesus Himself famously stated that “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35) Why is this? While I believe there is a deeper meaning to the passage, here’s the simple answer: when I receive, I am blessed. But when I give, not only do I bless the recipient…I in turn will also be blessed of the Lord. (Proverbs 19:17) So instead of just one person being blessed, two people are blessed! Double the blessing = “more blessed”. And blessed of the Lord, at that! In God’s just economy, the givers always have a stark advantage over the takers.
Do you want to be loved? Do you want to receive? “Whatever be thy longing or thy need, that do thou give.” To put it plainly, generosity is the surefire way to get those blessings coming Right Back Atcha!
Let us learn about the 3 stages of the generous woman. In stage 1, she will be:
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit; Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle. – Psalm 103:2-5
Who among us can say that their life is not benefited in some way by the Lord? Even in the bleakest of circumstances, there is always something to be grateful for. Betsie Ten Boom (the elder sister of beloved author, Corrie Ten Boom) said while living amidst the horrors of the Holocaust, “there is no pit so deep that He [God] is not deeper still.” If only we all had the attitude of the indomitable Betsie!
The vast majority of us have so many benefits that we could spend hours tallying them all up. If you are reading this, you are likely doing so from the convenience of your electronic device. (Benefit) If I was a betting woman, I’d stake money that you are reading in the comfort of your home, or perhaps inside your vehicle. (Benefit) It’s safe to say that you’ve had a bite to eat today, or that some good food is to be expected within the next 24 hours. (Benefit) You will likely connect with somebody who loves you today. (Benefit) And if you are a Christian, you have salvation in Jesus Christ. (BENEFIT!) These are just scratching the surface of all the benefits most if not all of us here at Destress the Damsel enjoy. The list could go on to include clothing, pets, hobbies, nature, books, etc. etc. etc.
In Psalm 103, David admonished his soul not to forget a single one of God’s benefits. David knew the tendency of human beings to take our blessings for granted. He didn’t want to fall into that ever dissatisfied category of ingrates. And neither should we! Veggie Tales’ Junior Asparagus said it best: “a thankful heart is a happy heart.” When we recognize all of our blessings, joyfulness is the result.
Now, what does all this have to do with being a generous woman? Well, in order to benefit others, it is crucial that we first see ourselves as The Benefited. No one can draw from a dry well. If we have a scarcity mindset (believing that we don’t have enough) we will be stingy with our “few” resources. If we have an abundance mindset (believing that we have more than enough) we will be generous with our “many” resources. Whether we really do have little or much is often besides the point. Indeed, the wealthiest person may be the most miserly, and the poorest person the most magnanimous. So often, our mindset dictates our pocketbook…and whether or not we’re willing to share what we have.
If you are not in the habit of counting your blessings, today is the day to start. If you don’t know where to begin, take a good look at yourself. Do you have eyes with which to see? Ears with which to hear? A mouth with which to speak? Arms and legs to move about with? Thank God for these benefits! Then look around you. Are there cherished people, pets, and possessions in your home? Thank God for these benefits! Then look outside your home. Is the sun shining in the sky? Are there birds singing in the trees? Are there flowers blooming? Thank God for these benefits! These may be elementary examples, but once you start expressing gratitude, the benefits you notice will be innumerable. Make it a point to remember your benefits daily…this custom will transform your life.
Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation, or shifting shadow. – James 1:17
Can you identify yourself as one of The Benefited? Then you have completed the first stage of the generous woman. Now it’s time to enter stage 2:
Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share. – 1 Timothy 6:17-18
In Paul’s first letter to Timothy, he ties benefits and benevolence together. Certainly, our many benefits should stir up in us a desire to be benevolent to others. (I am reminded of the hymn: Freely, freely you have received. Freely, freely give.) Generosity is the natural outpouring of gratitude. Since we know how good it feels to be blessed, we ought to seek to replicate that positive feeling in other people.
There are countless reasons people give for not being benevolent. These justifications include, “I haven’t the money“…”I haven’t the time“…”I don’t have anything worth giving“…”I don’t know what to give“…”I don’t know an occasion to give“, ad nauseam. Let’s consider each of these examples. 1.) If you haven’t the money, take stock of what you already have in your possession to spare. Do you have crafting materials with which to make a clothing item for someone? Vegetables from your garden to share? A book you enjoyed and can pass on? 2.) If you haven’t the time, consider where you can cut corners. Few of us are truly so busy we cannot make time for another person’s need. A little bit of sacrifice can go a long way in building relationships. 3.) If you don’t have anything worth giving, make sure your gifting standards aren’t too high. A benevolent gift can be as simple as a heartfelt letter decorated with fun stickers, a little secondhand item purchased at a thrift store, or even a smile or hug to the weary and downtrodden soul. 4.) If you don’t know what to give, become a “detective” of sorts. Find out what the recipient is into and work from there. Do they love cats? A cute kitty plush might make their day. Are they a writer? A beautiful journal might bring a smile. Is chocolate their weakness? A pack of their favorite candies could elicit an excited response. 5.) If you don’t know an occasion to give, don’t wait around forever! Benevolence is not reserved merely for Christmas, birthdays, etc. but is something special that can say “you’re on my mind” any time of year.
Becoming The Benevolent is really not so difficult when we remember the golden rule. (Luke 6:31) We love to be on the receiving end of benevolence, so it’s only right that we extend generosity to others. When selling items, be willing to offer reasonable discounts. After all, don’t you like it when you can buy items on sale? When dining at a restaurant and you receive quality service, leave a generous tip. After all, don’t you like it when you are well compensated for your efforts? When you notice something admirable about a person, tell them. After all, don’t you like receiving genuine compliments? When someone needs aid with a project, lend them a helping hand. After all, don’t you like it when others ease your workload? When someone is down and out due to circumstances beyond their control (i.e. a house fire or a job layoff), help lighten their financial burden. After all, don’t you like it when others step in to lift you up when you are struggling to make ends meet?
She extends her hand to the poor; and she stretches out her hands to the needy. – Proverbs 31:20
Can you identify yourself as one of The Benevolent? Then you have completed the second stage of the generous woman. Now it’s time to enter stage 3:
He has given freely to the poor; his righteousness endures forever; his horn will be exalted in honor. – Psalm 112:9
“Benedicted” is not a word we use very often perhaps, but it simply means “blessed“. You’ve probably heard of a “benediction”, which is a fancy way of saying “blessing“. The man who fears the Lord, as described in Psalm 112, is one who “has given freely to the poor“. There is a pragmatic reason scripture puts so much emphasis on helping the poor: quite frankly, they need it. But another reason is to point out that we should not give with strings attached to anyone, whether our recipient be “dirt poor”, “middle class”, or “filthy rich”. Those who give with no ulterior motive or expectation of anything in return are exactly the kind of people God is interested in returning blessings upon.
There are many different ways that the Lord may reward us for our generosity. For one thing, there is the natural effect of generosity, in which people who we have given to become inspired to give to us when the opportunity arises. (There is always an exception for ungrateful, selfish individuals.) Another way the Lord may reward us is by prospering us financially – for He sees that we use our resources for others, and not just for ourselves. Yet another way the Lord may reward us is by growing our reputation as a generous person – someone others hold in high esteem. It is important to keep in mind that rewards are not always received right away – and sometimes not in this life at all. Even so, we know that when we cast our bread on the surface of the waters, we will find it after many days. (Ecclesiastes 11:1) Generosity is not quickly forgotten or dismissed by our good Father.
In the book of Acts, Cornelius was one of The Benedicted. He was called a “devout man” and one who “feared God“. What made him worthy of such an honorable assessment? One reason is that he “gave many alms to the Jewish people“. (Acts 10:1-2) Cornelius will be remembered for all time as one of the first recorded gentiles to be granted salvation in Jesus Christ. In v. 4, Peter explains just why exactly God had his eye on Cornelius and his household. This is what he said:
Your prayers and alms have ascended as a memorial before God. – Acts 10:4b (emphasis added)
Can you identify yourself as one of The Benedicted? (If the answer is currently “no”, just remember that your day is coming!) At this point, you have completed the third stage of the generous woman.
In conclusion…
Have you been The Benefited? Then I adjure you to become The Benevolent! Have you been The Benevolent? Then I assure you will become The Benedicted! Generosity: the gift that keeps on giving.
When you devote yourself to generosity, you’ll have so many blessings coming Right Back Atcha.
The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered. – Proverbs 11:25
Now this I say, he who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly; and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully. – 2 Corinthians 9:6
For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks
Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.
